Core Belief: Jesus Is Not The Hero

I spent the better parts of my youth trying to be more like Jesus. After all, he was the cool dude of the new testament, not like the ole plague & slaughter god of the old testament. I always looked for the bright red words of Jesus right away when I was reading the bible. I tried to memorize all the bible, but especially what Jesus said.

Like the infamous saying goes, owning a bible makes you a christian, reading one makes you an atheist. Nothing that I read from the Bible was an instant deal breaker when I decided to read it fully at 18 years old. But there were some verses that made me feel like I was being asked something impossible.

Matthew 10:37 felt impossible because how was I supposed to love anyone more than my mom and dad.

Matthew 10:28 just before it told me to fear not the death of my body, but one who can kill both my body and soul in hell. So I did, I feared. God was great, but to be feared so great was his jealousy.

Some years later the Star Wars prequels came out, and as soon as I heard it spoken, I felt a certain way. The line in Star Wars goes "Only a Sith (big bad evil guys) deals in absolutes." Remembering Matthew 12:30 stating "He that is not with me is against me." It may sound like the silliest thing, but it was chipping away at indoctrination.

I kept reading, and read about how in Matthew 21:18-19 he straight up damned a tree for not bearing fruit in the off season. Talk about destined for damnation.

Jesus had been called the peace maker. My dad had a custom shirt printed when i was young that read "No Jesus No Peace, Know Jesus Know Peace." But the more I read the more his peaceful nature came into question. Luke 19:27 talks pretty specifically about slaying his enemies. Luke 12:49-53 literally taught me about how Jesus did NOT come to bring peace, but a sword. To turn mother against daughter, and father against son. I wanted to be a dad one day, it was a hard anxiety to carry.

So, when people talk to me about how "well, remember, jesus undid/completed what was in the old testament. look how great he is!" I eventually heard the voice in the back of my head questioning onward. So I read the old testament. I needed to know both sides of the great story.

I found incest. I found annihilations of entire peoples. I found contradicitons to free will. I discovered the snake in Eden was never really stated to be Satan, and it was pretty fucked how god cursed all snakes with no legs simply for the actions of their great-great-grerat-great-great-skip-a-few grandfather's crimes?

One of my favorite questions to now ask the faithful is if they've read the bible from cover to cover, and what they thought of it. I tell them I'd like to hear their thoughts. 10/10, would reccommend.

This piece is about Jesus mainly, so I've assembled a list of some of his most questionable messages. Enjoy the resource.